Hollywood Shuffle (1987)
CURRENT LOCATION: The "fucking" library
FUCK SCHOOL!
Ok, school is stupid. I can prove it. What university other than Indiana has tests only on the weekends? The weekend is defined in the dictionary as "a period taken or given regularly as a weekly rest period from one's work" -- So can somebody please tell me why I have an accounting test on fricking Sunday? I mean damn... If I was gonna be an accountant, this would all make sense: creeping up into the stacks on the east side of the library (this crazy uninhabited area of the library where one of my friends got head while studying haha) to do math problems for hours on end.
I know in order to make it in the music industry I gotta be a businessman, but I've been getting that education since I was 13 from reading real business books not TEXT BOOKS! And there's only one thing I need to know about accounting as far as I'm concerned -- Stay in the black... In other words, as Weezy would say, "MAKE MONEY". I'm gonna be a boss with or without this accounting class... Period.
FUCK CHASE BANK!
Ok, next on my list is Chase Bank. I'm getting more and more calls everyday for interviews and big events, etc. As you already know, I'll be opening for Soulja Boy on the 24th and negotiations are in existence for other shows around that date as well. I've been steady at work on my debut album, but despite not being the typical rapper I feel I do need a way to get my music out there. I can't release the album for free because of the production costs associated with it, so I need to create a mixtape.
When I mentioned doing a mixtape to Boogie Boy, I was impressed by the names that were interested in being a part of the project. I am honored that while other artists have to pay large sums of money to get these figures to host or rep them, these figures have shown major love and cut these costs after hearing the album material. They must see me.
After hearing the names that could be involved, my mind has been doing whirlwinds. The whole point of the mixtape would be to show people who the fuck I am. In fact, that was our mixtape name: "WHO DA FUCK IS JQ?" before B.o.B. stole that shit from right under our feet -- I guess great minds think alike. Be sure to check out his dope new single "I'll Be in the Sky". I'd attach the video, but the labels are taking sound off all the youtube videos :( -- I don't know how they possibly think that's good for the artist or their pockets for that matter.
So in order to show people who I am, especially when they witness the One Man Show LIVE! at these performances, I need to give my street teams the proper materials -- aka actual CD's and cards to promote the mixtape. These things do cost $ :(
My producer always says there is a line between the fan and the artist, but I don't necessarily support that argument. I've spent my hard-earned $ in production costs thinking I could get signed just because I had dope material. WRONG!!! The only thing labels wanna see you is you reading this... IS IT WORKING? hahah, I hope so. But it's not about that... If it was, I would've started this a long time ago, but I didn't. I started it when I thought it was time for y'all to know what the fuck I'm on (I can see my mom being like "watch the language" right now).
So what am I supposed to do? I don't fucking know. But I do know that if I do a mixtape, I'm going big. It's either go big, or go home. We either MBM (Make Big Moves) or we don't make moves at all... In other words, I gotta manufacture 100,000 of 'em. I don't know how I'm going to come up with the kind of money necessary to put 100,000 of these things in the streets, but I am going to take off the next week of school to try and figure it out -- maybe move a piece of ONtheCOURTSports -- that's the kind of dedication you gotta pull. I know someone is out there reading this saying, "STAY IN SCHOOL!" As my girl would say, "Relax!" but on the realz, this is my life. Not school... Music. I'm 20 years old. I'll do what I want... And right now, I wanna make a mixtape -- so fuck you.
So why are the last six paragraphs under a category title of "FUCK CHASE BANK" -- Let me tell you. My best friend told me that I should get a college loan from Chase -- He got $20,000 for being in state and I could probably get $30,000 for being out of state. Since my parents pay for school, I figured I could put my own ass on the line. The last thing I wanna do is be another broke artist. When I told my producer what was going on he mentioned how Robert Townsend funded his first movie, Hollywood Shuffle, on credit cards. I was shocked. Wikipedia said:
"Hollywood Shuffle was created on a very tight budget. Townsend personally financed the movie with his own credit cards, and, in order to avoid obtaining permits, he asked his crew to wear college sweatshirts to pose as students."
With an estimated budget of $100,000, the movie went on to have gross revenues of over $5 million. If you're smart, a tight budget can work.
Anyway, when I called Chase, they informed me they currently don't accept applications for uncertified student loans. This policy was enacted on the 26th of March, like a week ago. With an ailing economy, I'm sure this was done with good reason. I respect business as much as the next businessman, but why the fuck was I holding money in a bank for years to not get approved for a student loan? Shiyattt...
So anyway, after this 6:00 P.M. accounting test on Sunday, my journey begins. I have UNDER three weeks, to come up with the money, make a mixtape, and manufacture it. I don't even know if it's possible, but my friend R. Kelly says, "I believe that if we believe, the unbelievable can be achieved." Then again, Kelz believes he can fly! hahaha, he probably can. Shoutout to my dude: www.myspace.com/rkelly .
It's off to the races.
"See No Limits. Hear No Limits."
-JQ
P.S. In the future, longs blogs of "BITCHING" will be summed up into one sentence at www.twitter.com/burbetto !
P.S.S. The third "FUCK" is lucky I'm not calling him/them out. Refer back to my "American History X" post: Hate is baggage.
Only love.
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